friends.are you or are you not a true one?friends mean a lot to us.especially at this age.as teenagers.apart from shaping you,friends support you,care for you, and love you.mind you,i'm not talking about fair-weather friends.i'm talking about those friends who will stick with you through thick and thin.or supposedly will.believe me,i doubt there are such people in this world.i thought there were.boy,was that a huge mistake.

ah,yes.typical of you.i hardly expected better.as usual,you will give me the 'your pasal ah' attitude.yes,it's my choice.because i want to see how far you care,how much i mean to you,how much our friendship means.apparently very little.and who are you to manumit me?that is,free me?since when have i been under your control?and how do you know that even if you say you are freeing me,how do you know i really am free?i will never be.i loved you,so very much.i did not call you my twin brother for nothing.but that was apparently never reciprocated.i fooled myself into thinking that you cared.that you were not cold.sad.you have a lot to learn.yes,you know a lot,i don't deny that.but some essential things,perhaps,you forgot.people get thrown in hell not for just not praying,but also the hurt you cause others.and i was always on my own.are you here for me now,that i need you?no.think about it.i'm throwing the ball in your court.you say you know me.so is this the way?to brush me off?remember what i said?you decide.

all i wanted was u hug,a comforting word or two.but that was too much to expect from you,wasn't it?

this song came to mind.

Careless Whisper


Time can never mend the careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind, ignorance is kind
there's no comfort in the truth
pain is all you'll find

Should've known better

I feel so unsure
as I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor
as the music dies, something in your eyes
calls to mind the silver screen
and all its sad good-byes

I'm never gonna dance again
guilty feet have got no rhythm
though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
Should've known better than to cheat a friend
and waste the chance that I've been given
so I'm never gonna dance again
the way I danced with you

Time can never mend
the careless whispers of a good friend
to the heart and mind
ignorance is kind
there's no comfort in the truth
pain is all you'll find

I'm never gonna dance again
guilty feet have got no rhythm
though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
Should've known better than to cheat a friend
and waste this chance that I've been given
so I'm never gonna dance again
the way I danced with you

Never without your love
Tonight the music seems so loud
I wish that we could lose this crowd
Maybe it's better this way
We'd hurt each other with the things we'd want to say

We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But noone's gonna dance with me
Please stay

And I'm never gonna dance again
guilty feet have got no
it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
Should've known better than to cheat a friend
and waste the chance that I've been given
so I'm never gonna dance again
the way I danced with you

(Now that you're gone)
Now that you're gone
(Now that you're gone)
What I did's so wrong
that you had to leave me alone



i feel so sad.