i'm sick of being accused,discriminated against,insulted.

truth to be told,i've had enough.i don't know you anymore.the old you will never,and i mean never , push the blame on me in any way,or to hurt me on purpose.the old you would rather embarass yourself than me.but now?yes,you have become ska.you have no idea how much pain i carry in my heart.the hurt.i cry every single day,at random times.in class,in the bus,walking home,at madrasah.you have no idea.apparently you don't know me at all.you're killing me.all your promises.broken.i left to teach you a lesson,to see the extent of your love for me.instead of doing everything you could to win me back,you did just the opposite.insincere apologies,insults,barbed jibes.you apologise,and 5 minutes later you're accusing me of all sorts of nonsense.i threaten you,yes,broke up with you.but have i not proved my loyalty to you all this while?you refuse to see that.you refuse to see that i am in school,with a heavy workload.my exams are in about 1 and a half months.but no,you accuse me of frolicking with other guys.please,for the sake of Allah,open your eyes.feel my pain.become my kanda again.the kanda who actually cared about my feelings.not this jerk.i have to be straight with you here.but nothing i do seems to drum into your head.not even my vow.so i don't see the point of a relationship without any trust whatsoever.that's why i broke up with you.whatever i said here is why i broke up with you.i'm desperate.i'm breaking down.you don't know.you just want to win,protect your pride.i can't take it anymore.no more.

i'm saying all this here,because i know if i tell it straight to you,you'll just throw it back at my face.yes,you'll feel guilty.for like 5 minutes.then you'll just go on shouting at me.i'm sorry i'm saying all this here,but i have to let go,without being accused,insulted and hurt.

so i have to let go.at least for now.or till you come back.

i miss you,kanda.